This time next year

Last night I watched This Time Next Year on iTV (have some tissues handy if you watch it) and it got me thinking where was I this time last year? In a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV, on three types of antibiotics and morphine for the pain. 

The 4th of November 2015 was my discharge date. I remember constantly asking the Dr when did she think I'd be able to run again. I don't think she had the heart to tell me how long it might be, she just said you'll know, don't push yourself.

They said 8 weeks for the infection to clear from my body completely but being the competitive so and so I was determined to get better quicker - even though I had absolutely no control over it! 5 weeks later I was winning (and more importantly infection free) but it was still another 5 weeks before I could run.

It was the first week in January, I honestly felt like I might have an asthma attack running 13min/miles along the Guernsey coast. I probably shouldn't have been running to be honest but I had a place in London Marathon and I was going to get there come hell or high water.

 First run selfie of the year  

First run selfie of the year  

Standing at that start line was a really proud moment - I had put in all the training and boy had I earnt my place there. I felt like the luckiest girl to have that opportunity to run London. My family it turns out were terrified about the damage I was potentially doing to my body and my recovery.

The chronic pain started back around the end of May and by July I was having more days in pain than not. I didn't realise how much the continued discomfort was bringing me down. And it was stopping me running.

 A high point about the 10km mark of London Marathon  (thanks Breast Cancer Now)

A high point about the 10km mark of London Marathon  (thanks Breast Cancer Now)

So surgery it was, which again stopped me running but only temporarily. Two weeks later I was run/walking again starting back from zero. I've been building back up and ran 4.5mi last weekend, furthest since about June.

Instead of feeling proud though I just felt so frustrated that couldn't keep going. I still had to walk 2mi back off the Common. Luckily I had Tim for company, to tell me off for being so self critical and to point out how far I'd come since surgery. I know what he said is factually true I just didn't feel it myself and I was still disappointed.

Writing this post is pretty self indulgent but I'm hoping to remind myself how far I have actually come. I continue to push myself to try and be better but sometimes it is important to look back and see how far you have come. As for this time next year, who knows? One thing I am sure of is that this year has proven anything is possible. What do you pledge to do by this time next year?

 On the trails with Tim last weekend

On the trails with Tim last weekend

A BHAG for 2017

A BHAG for 2017

Dry Tri at the Y

Dry Tri at the Y